One way to get to know people is to let them scroll through
your camera roll when they commandeer your computer… Then really hope there’s
nothing weird there, you keep saying, “nononono let me explain,” “well yes I do
have a tattoo,” or “nono I do have friends… I just like my cat and dog.” You
lie awake that night wondering WHY you have so many pictures of your cat but
not so many of your family. I didn’t even have pictures of my extended family
to show them, and in the past three weeks I have meet more aunts, uncles and
cousins than I can remember.
Family is so important here. For New Year’s (my 3rd
day in India mind you), we drove across the city and partied with someone’s
brother in law and four or five other families. We ate food so spicy I cried,
played Rummy until 3am, and stuffed cake into everyone’s mouths at midnight. I
slept in their daughter’s room along with a grandma and three or four aunties
on the floor and sharing a bed. The way family welcomes each other is fascinating
to experience here. The house has been a revolving door of extended family
members since the first week after. When
I arrived, I wondered why the house had so many rooms for just a couple with
two recently married children, but it makes sense now.
My host dad's sister and her
daughter Kavya came to stay with us about two weeks ago. Kavya is eight months
pregnant and having some complications, so she and her mother made the six hour
journey here to access better medical care. She is one of the sassiest humans I
have ever met and brutally honest. She’s teaching me how to survive in India
while minimally offending people, a little bit of Telugu, and how to laugh at
myself. I knew we could become friends when one evening, she turned to me and
whispered with a sly smile “Mike, today I did not bathe.” “Me either,
Kavya.”
The other night, Kavya came home from the hospital with some
ultrasound reports, passing them around the living room for everyone to see.
There’s no hushed private conversation about a diagnosis or hiding of papers
from the doctors here. When I met a neighbor the first thing I learned about
him was his persistent toe infection. Looking at Kavya’s ultrasound, I mentioned
my sister was a midwife. “A what??” “A midwife.. like an alternative
gynecologist/OB” *some talking in Telugu* "Oh so your sister is a gynecologist?" “Not quite” “She is training to be one!” “Yeah….” In the moment, I decided it
was a technicality lost in translation. However, Kavya then asked if she could
send her reports to Brenna for a second opinion. Ooops. Since Brenna is a gynecologist
in training, I said we could try but she might not be able to help. However,
Brenna offered an expert opinion and put Kavya at ease! For the next week,
Brenna received doctors’ reports and gave gynecological advice to a stranger in
India, a “friend of Mike”. As one Indian student told me, “Ah yes of course!
This is India, anything can happen.”
Funny mishaps like this are what I have come to love about
being here. Things get lost in translation, but people have been so genuine and
willing to develop relationships. The little things like joking around at the
breakfast table: “ Auntie likes weird things, the burnt poha [a breakfast dish
we were eating], fish heads, chicken heads, my head” (WHAT), evening lectures
from my host dad: “Enjoy India. You will get fat. And then nothing will happen,”
Kavya scrolling though my camera roll and saying “wow Mike, you are a crazy
American” (not sure how endless cat and hiking photos gave that impression)
make this trip amazing.
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